SOS Logbook
by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity
Summary: The SOS Brigade is no normal extracurricular club, and seems to change purposes every day. What are they doing now? Why, whatever Haruhi Suzumiya wants, of course!
1. Tea

**Author's Notes: **Writing drabbles/oneshots is my favorite way of improving my writing, testing out new ideas, and just killing time. So that's why I'm writing a collection of the such. However, as I am sometimes short on inspiration, I will gladly accept requests from anyone.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything pertaining to the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise. I'm not entirely sure who does, but I'm sure their name can be found somewhere on the internet.

**Tea**

Classes wouldn't start for another week, but the clubroom complex was open. And of course, Haruhi emailed everyone asking us to meet her there at an absurdly early hour.

I arrived yawning, only to discover that the door was locked. She had posted a handwritten sign with instructions telling all SOS Brigade members to meet her at some point at the edge of town, and she left us an address. Typical Haruhi to make me climb up the hill to school just to have to climb down again.

"You're late!"

That all too familiar phrase greeted me as I arrived. The other members of the Brigade were all present. We were standing inside some claustrophobic building. Mikuru smiled sweetly at me, brewing tea. Itsuki was watching her. And Yuki… Nagato was being her usual bibliophile self.

But the most prominent figure was the hyperactive Haruhi, scowling up at me. He cheered up fairly quickly though, when I asked, "So what's going on here?"

"I managed to rent out this place for free!" she exclaimed, excited.

Um, does it count as renting if you don't pay? Oh, I can only imagine the dastardly plan Haruhi thought up to get a hold of this building. The girl's a conspirer.

"So, since I want to improve the club room, we're going to start selling Mikuru's tea here for money!"

Wow. Since when did you need money? Don't you usually just blackmail people to get what you want?

"You're going to be our cashier! Now, keep a lookout for customers!"

Sighing reluctantly, I slumped down on a chair, bored.

Yuki, who for some unknown reason was in uniform, stood up after Haruhi whispered something in her ear, and walked to the front of the amazingly small building with a sign. Apparently she was stuck trying to attract customers. Good luck, Nagato. Sure, Asahina's tea was good, but who was going to come and buy from a bunch of random high school kids? And the prices displayed were outrageous. I could tell that this was going to be a complete waste of time.

The hours ticked by. Even Yuki looked bored. Then again, I couldn't really tell and might have been imagining it. People passed by the store, but to be perfectly honest, Nagato's intense staring scared them away. Exasperated, Haruhi sent Mikuru out there to 'get those customers and drag them in if she had too'. Yuki resumed her reading without comment, but I say she looked eager to get back to her book.

Haruhi started pacing back and forth, and we had nothing better to do than watch her. She was completely fed up.

And I pity the Computer Club President, who for some reason passed by the store. Haruhi was on him in a flash. She tackled him and flung him into the store. I sighed. He looked traumatized, and was probably already scarred for life by Suzumiya.

"Wh-what do you want?" he whimpered.

Haruhi grinned triumphantly. "You should be honored to be our first customer! Itsuki," she said, snapping her fingers as though summoning a dog, "Give our guest some of our finest tea!"

"Coming," Itsuki said. I have no idea how he could still be smiling. He politely handed the Computer Club President a cup.

Not knowing what else to do and terrified of Haruhi's wrath, he took it and sniffed it suspiciously, before sipping it.

"Is it good?" Haruhi demanded slyly.

He nodded cautiously.

Haruhi's evil grin broadened. "Another satisfied customer!"

What the hell? He was our only customer, and he didn't even come of his own free will.

"Now," she said, her eyes twinkling, and with her hand outstretched, "Pay up."

"W-what?"

I could only watch as he reluctantly handed her the money and walked away, downcast but looking relieved to finally be away from the freak who was our brigade leader.

The karma gods weren't happy with Haruhi's trickery. For some reason, the street was deserted from that point on. By late afternoon, Haruhi had forgotten about her earlier victory and tiny insignificant profit, and was repeatedly kicking the back of my chair out of boredom.

"Stop that." She wasn't listening. I stood up and went over to Itsuki. "'Sup?"

His smile had dissipated and he glared at me seriously. "There's a closed space forming," he told me ominously.

What? Damn, it didn't take much to piss her off these days. "What do we do?"

"Whatever she wants us to."

I glared, and he laughed. "It's alright. My colleagues won't be happy, but I'm afraid I have to interrupt whatever they're doing and get them to come here."

"And waste their money?" I asked, half-amused.

He nodded, and took out his cell phone, dialed a few numbers, spoke for a while, then was his smiling self again. "It's been taken care of."

Sure enough, within ten minutes, people started mysteriously appearing and they all seemed suspiciously eager to taste Mikuru's freshly-brewed tea. Most of them glanced at Itsuki at least once. I found myself extremely busy counting our profit. Haruhi seemed delighted, but after a half hour or so, she slumped down on a chair again. I went over to her.

"What's wrong? Business is great."

"I'm bored."

What? She can't be serious. "Isn't this what you wanted?" I demanded, trying to stay calm.

"Yeah… I don't know. This is actually kind of boring." She perked up again. "I'm going to go see what else there is to do!" And with those parting words, she ran out of the shop and darted down the street.

She left me there blinking, perplexed. Wow. I guess the initial excitement of selling tea already wore off. Our customers, who were all obviously members of the Agency, seemed to be thinking somewhere along the same lines as me. When it became apparent that Haruhi wasn't coming back, they all left.

Itsuki sat there, sipping some leftover tea while Mikuru cleaned up. Nagato had remained indulged in her thick novel during the entire thing. The esper smiled at me. "Well, that certainly was an interesting experience."

**Author's Notes: **So if anyone has anything they want to see written, or a oneshot plot bunny to donate, I'd be grateful. I however reserve the right to refuse or modify a request. I'm sure you all understand.


	2. UFO

**Author's Notes:** Hey guys. I'm back.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything pertaining to the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise. I'm not entirely sure who does, but I'm sure their name can be found somewhere on the internet.

**Credits: **To Far-Raiderz for prompt. :)

There was an important meeting that day. I rushed to the clubroom, not wanting to arrive late and be subject to the 'penalty' again. I was first to arrive, not counting Nagato of course. She seems to always be there.

Mikuru arrived next, and Itsuki came with his usual laid-back smile. Halfway through an Othello game, I glanced at my watch.

She was late.

Haruhi finally barged in with a huge conspiring grin. Oh lord, what torture will we be subject to today?

"You're late," I pointed out.

She ignored me. "Guess what we'll be doing this weekend?"

No one had the slightest notion, of course. Seriously, if Haruhi's actions were predictable, she wouldn't need to have an alien, time-traveler, and an esper observing her.

She dug in her bag and her hands finally resurfaced with a newspaper and what looked like train tickets, which she threw on the table.

I picked one up. "Shinjuku?" How random. I had a feeling she was going to tell us what was on her eccentric mind.

"God, Kyon, don't you ever read the paper?" She flipped through the newspaper to some seemingly insignificant article. "It says here that there's been an UFO sighting in Shinjuku! And that it landed in the forest behind the park! Isn't that awesome?"

I had witnessed way too many unexplainable events by then to react to something such as a UFO sighting. "So we're going to Shinjuku this weekend? I can't; I've already made plans."

Her scowl was frightening. "You call yourself a member of the SOS Brigade?"

Um, I believe you're the one who dragged me into this club.

"We're going to Shinjuku! And we're going to find the UFO! That's final!"

There was no arguing with that. She didn't sound like she was in a reasonable mood.

"Well, I think it's a great idea," said a cheerful voice from behind me. Damn you, Koizumi.

That seemed to be all the encouragement she needed. "Okay then! Everyone has to show up to the train station an hour in advance! Dismissed!"

&&&

The weather didn't look very good that day. It was cloudy and cold. Still, I didn't dare anger Haruhi, or the world as I knew it just might have ended. And I was satisfied with my life.

So, after apologizing to the guys for not being able to hang out with them, I dragged myself to the train station.

"You're late again!"

What the hell is she talking about? I was well over an hour in advance. Besides, Nagato wasn't there yet. We stood there in the deserted station awaiting our final member. Why did Haruhi insist on catching the first train in the morning? Ms. Asahina smiled shyly at me.

Suzumiya's mood lightened when Yuki showed up. I almost laughed when I saw what time it was. Exactly an hour before the scheduled arrival of the train. Nagato sure was precise.

"Okay! So what we'll do when we get to Shinjuku is head straight for the forest! Here, in case anyone gets lost," she said, handing us all compasses. Um, there were paths and signs all over the forest, so unless you were blind, there was no way of getting lost in there. But whatever. I took the compass she held out to me without comment.

After that, she started babbling. Itsuki seemed to be the only one who bothered pretending to listen. And despite everything, some of her endless monologue would reach my ears.

"Maybe there are aliens in there! Maybe they're still alive!" A sudden gasp. "That'd be so awesome!"

Poor Haruhi was going to be so disappointed. The only alien around (that I knew of anyway) was standing right beside her, reading.

When people actually started arriving to catch the train, the noise started drowning out our excited brigade leader. It felt like forever until the actual train finally arrived though. I suddenly wished I'd brought something to do, and wondered if Yuki happened to have a spare book, though I never asked. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remembered, the train had stopped and Haruhi was shaking me violently.

"We're here! Wake up!"

"I'm up, I'm up," I grumbled, following her out. Despite having a larger population, Shinjuku looked just as normal as what we had back home. Without stopping for anything or even making sure that we were following her, Haruhi sprinted towards the park. I was surprised she even knew where it was, though she has probably already been there before.

She stopped in front of the path that led into the forest and 'mysteriously' turned for no apparent reason so that it was concealed by the trees. Pointing melodramatically, she said, "Ahead, on this road of unpredictable turns! For what awaits us is a new discovery!"

Did that make grammatical sense? Regardless, we followed her.

Pushing the melodramatically insane façade aside, she began babbling again.

"Hey! Maybe these are the same aliens who kidnapped Asakura and transformed her into some hideous monster!"

Now where'd she get _that _from? She's close though. Nagato did kind of transform her into a pile of sand… I think... I'm actually not too sure what happened. Still, I doubted we'd find anything.

It began to rain. Mikuru whimpered. She looked cold, so I offered her my jacket. Our leader 'courageously' continued moving, although she looked lost to me. Did she even know where to begin looking?

Haruhi brought flashlights. She had predicted having to stay after dark. I began to wonder if she had a makeshift tent in her bag too. Looking behind me, I could see that Nagato was having trouble keeping her book dry without using her 'data manipulation' abilities.

"Can't you just stop the rain?" I whispered.

She looked up at me expectantly. Apparently I already knew the answer.

"Yeah, dire consequences to the ecosystem. I know."

"We're close!" Haruhi suddenly shouted.

Eh, what? How did she know? Wait, was there _really_ an UFO? Well, I suppose so, since it actually stands for unidentified flying object and no one knew what it was yet, thus making it… unidentified.

There was a small clearing, in which rested an object roughly the size of, say… a microwave. It certainly was disk-like and alien-ish, though if there were any aliens in there they'd be pretty _small. _

And then I couldn't contain myself anymore; I burst out laughing. It was a remote-controlled toy that had ventured too far from its owner, lost its signal, and crashed.

On the way back, I was still smirking. Nagato was still reading as though nothing had ever happened, and Mikuru seemed glad for the heating in the train. Trying to cheer up our disappointed (you see? I do recall mentioning Haruhi ending up disappointed earlier) leader, Itsuki smiled and said, "Well, I suppose that's yet another mystery solved."

She scowled.

**Author's Notes:** lol. I hoped you liked it, despite it not making much sense. XD I'm still taking requests and stuff by the way.


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